This is Monet B she is RESILIENT.
CONTENT WARNING: The I Am Resilient Project provides an open space for people to share their personal experiences. Some content in this post and on this website will include topics that you may find difficult.
Describe the situation where you had to be resilient:
I had to end my marriage to save my sanity, find happiness and show my five children a healthy way to live, not just survive.
It’s never an easy decision to make when there are multiple lives at stake but sometimes you have to choose yourself so that you can save those around you. That was the choice that I had to make for myself and my five kids (the youngest two we were in the process of adopting).
I was afraid and scared. How would I survive? How could I afford to live? I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past 15 years, but my emotional, physical and mental health took precedence because if I didn’t have them none of the rest mattered. I was no good as a mom in the state I was living in with severe depression and anxiety, drinking to escape, the yelling, screaming, fighting never seemed to end, no matter how hard we tried it just wasn’t working.
I didn’t want my children to be raised that way because it wasn’t healthy. So, I made the choice to end my marriage and get a divorce. It was a tough decision to make to break up a family unit, but I just couldn’t continue to live a lie. Every day I stayed I became more resentful, angry and bitter and that’s no way for anyone to live.
I no longer wanted to live in misery. I wanted to be happy. He deserved to be, too. And my kids deserved to be raised in a happy healthy home. And that is the choice I made to separate and get a divorce all in the midst of adopting our two youngest, it was no easy feat, to be divorcing and adopting at the same time. That in itself came with numerous challenges that tested me at every stage. But this one choice, to divorce, changed my entire life.
I got off antidepressants. I got off anxiety meds. I quit drinking. I lost 60 pounds. I became healthier – mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually than I had ever been because I decided to choose myself, my happiness and my kids.
Sometimes we stay in situations because it’s easier and safe. We are afraid of what others will think or because it goes against society, or the effects it will have, instead of following our hearts and doing what is right for us in our lives. We can only be the best we can be if we are willing to dig deep and make needed changes.
How did you practice resilience when faced with this challenge?
I found the strength within that I needed to carry me through the darkest of days. Every time an obstacle arose or I was threatened in some way instead of hiding, ignoring it, I faced it head-on and knew I’d find a way and everything would be okay
Please share one piece of advice for people who are going through a similar challenge:
You can achieve anything you just have to be willing to try and face the fears in your life.
Are you ready to share your story of RESILIENCE? You can do that HERE.